Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
