hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
