Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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