i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
