Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
