this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
