I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
