Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize