Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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