I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
