he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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