People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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