he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
did i just pee glitter
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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