Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She announced her abortion via fbk
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
