Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
there is glitter all over my balls
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