my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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