More tranny stories later!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
