Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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