My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
