i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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