You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
