So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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