My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
