i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Say something about gay babies.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
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Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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