It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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