We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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