check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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