hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
