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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.

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• (661): View more from California

  This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  ‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”

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