out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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