I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
