Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
