You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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