Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
