what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
