I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
