After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
