i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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