He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
