When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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