Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
