It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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