who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this