i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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