I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
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Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night