Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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