"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
