Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..