I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
