You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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