Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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