I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
