It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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