I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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