omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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