Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
