Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
