at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize