oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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