I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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