It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
