I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
