So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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