Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
