i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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